In led to her becoming more depressed. One of

In Loung Ung’s personal memoir First They Killed My Father, we see the psychological effect of becoming an orphan due to a genocide. The three main physiological effects of losing parents and becoming an orphan were shown in the book as depression, anger, and acceptance. After the death of Loung Ung’s parents and sisters, she fell into a deep depression where she lived and sorrow and did not see the point of living anymore. She went threw many traumatic experiences that stayed with her for the rest of her life. She was filled with anger and hate towards everything, Loung found a way to blame anything and anyone for what has happened to her, and she also blames herself. After Loung Ung realized she was not ready to let go of her life she began to fight for it and came to acceptance with herself to what happened to her family. The physiological effects of becoming an orphan caused Loung Ung to live a childhood of depression and sorrow, she became full of hate and anger towards everything, and finally acceptance for healing.One of the biggest psychological effects of losing a parent at a such a young age is denial and depression. Growing up Loung Ung had a very happy childhood where she had no worries or stress in her life. Once the Khmer Rouge came they managed to flip her life around within a day and killed her parents and siblings. Loung Ung has lost all connection to her siblings and she is completely alone. She was surrounded by sadness and death all around her. As she expresses “Sadness makes me want to kill myself to escape the hopelessness of my life.” (Ung 108), she was contemplating suicide to end her suffering, “Some people who are depressed feel hopeless and have thoughts of suicide. This is the most dangerous symptom of depression”. (Michelle Bolyn) https://www.livestrong.com/article/75555-signs-depression-after-loss-parent/Loung had many traumatic experiences that led to her becoming more depressed. One of which aside from her parents deaths is when she was being mentally and physically abused by a foster family and nearly was raped. While on the run on her own Loung found one of her sisters and they had to live in a foster family so they could stay alive. The family was very abusive and treated them badly,  “Neglect, discrimination and malnutrition affect orphans more commonly than their non-orphaned peers.” (Chrissie Long).https://journalistsresource.org/studies/international/development/orphans-abuse-and-the-worlds-most-vulnerable-children-recent-research  The family founds ways to insult them, by insisting that “you are so stupid you will amount to nothing” (Ung 182). They were given much fewer rations of food than the rest of the family and accused of stealing food from the family. One day one of the boys from that family forced himself on Loung and attempted to rape her. Luckily she was able to fight him off and get away. This is one of many of the traumatic experiences that stayed with her for the rest of her life. The feeling Loung once had, to stand up for herself when other people put her down has been destroyed “She is right, I am an orphan with no future” (Ung 183). The physiological effect of depression from becoming an orphan has affected Loung very seriously. She was contemplating suicide due to losing everything she had, her horrible experience at a foster family only was able to bring her down much more. “I think how the world is still somehow beautiful even when I feel no joy at being alive within it. ” (Ung 102). Loung Ung’s depression from her parents death has caused her to consider committing suicide and not seeing a point in living anymore. After her family was murdered and Loung being left on her own, she was filled with anger and hate. Not only is her hate directed towards the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot, but to the world “I want to destroy all the beautiful things” (Ung 105). Loung has lost everything she loved in life and now she is mad and looking for things to blame. She especially hates Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge because she blames them for the murder of her family, she said “I despise Pol Pot for making me hate so deeply. I feed my rage with bloody images of Pol Pot’s slain body being dragged in the dirt” (Ung 108). When Loung was temporarily in one a village, the villagers caught a Khmer Rouge soldier. They tied the man and were going to kill him, when Loung found out about this she wanted to go and to watch the man be murdered. She did not know who the man was, all she knew was that the man was a Khmer Rouge soldier and that was enough for her to be able to put all the blame of her parents and sisters deaths onto him. Loung blamed the reason for her hate on the Khmer Rouge “There is such hate and rage inside me now. The Angkar has taught me to hate so deeply that now I have the Power to destroy and kill” (Ung 105). Loung Ung was also angry with herself that she was not able to do anything to prevent the death of her parents, “You may also be angry with yourself that you couldn’t stop it from happening” (Ross 23). People look for places to blame to cooperate with a death, “A death can also make survivors feel the need to look for a place to lay blame. Sometimes they wind up blaming themselves, other times they lay the blame on others” (Kelly Roper) http://dying.lovetoknow.com/coping-grief/stages-mourning. Loung is angry that she has no one to trust anymore in her life. With her family being gone there is no one for her to be able to talk to. When she was in her foster families she did not speak to them like she would to her real family, “He is not Pa. I have to stop dreaming about our family and settle for being a part of a family of convenience” (Ung 176), she hates that she does not have anyone that she can talk to and trust anymore. So she had to learn how to trust and count on herself,  “With the impermanency, shortage of resources, and brain changes as a part of orphanage life, it is not surprising that children learn they can only count on themselves” (Elizabeth Curry). https://adoption.com/5-things-know-orphanage-life-affects-childrenThe physiological effect of anger has caused Loung Ung to find a way to blame anything, including herself for what happened to her family. Also she is angry because she has no one to talk to and trust other than herself.After going threw the worst years of Loung’s life, she found a way to accept her situation and to move on with life. With her new mindset it allowed her to become more mature, and her past qualities of character came back to her. She began to stop hating the world once she accepted her situation, an example of her maturing was when the grandmother in her foster family was very abusive towards her. But Loung’s characteristic of seeing good in people returned when the grandmother was injured, although the grandmother has been, and still was being hateful towards Loung she saw the good in her, “my heart goes out to her” (Ung 188). She began to stop holding a grudge on the world and began to see the good in things and people again. Loung saw what happened to her could not be changed and she could not keep being angry at the world forever. She learned that she had to find a way to readjust her life, “It has been forever changed and we must readjust” (Ross 33). After her parents passed away Loung was all alone and she had to figure out what she was going to do, she chose not to give up on herself, “No, I tell myself, I have to be strong. No time to be weak'” (Ung 142). This shows that Loung has come to acceptance with what she has in life and that she will carry on. Loung learned how to live her life again, “We begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief it’s time” (Ross 35). Loung was able to accept the death of her parents and this allowed her to keep moving on with her life. After she was able to grief, she was able to move on with her life.Loung Ung’s personal memoir First They Killed My Father, showed the physiological effects of becoming an orphan due to a genocide. The three main effects shown in the book were depression, becoming full of anger and hate, and finding acceptance with life after grieving a death. The depression was caused by losing her family and being left on her own. The depression was so severe that at times she contemplated ending her life to escape her hopelessness. She was filled with anger and rage towards life after her family’s murder. She found ways to blame anything and anyone for what happened to her, including herself. Later on Loung came to the realization that she was not ready to let her go of her life. She changed her attitude towards life and stopped living in depression and hate. The Psychological effects of becoming an orphan due to a genocide caused Loung Ung to become very depressed and full of sorrow for her family, become full of anger and hate towards everyone, and finally finding acceptance with her life.

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